Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Essie Bridal Collection 2008

I've been meaning to swatch this collection for MONTHS, but my nails are always so stained that I haven't been able to until now. For some reason my nails are really nice and white and pretty right now... I haven't done anything different! Maybe it's from all the swatching I've done this week. Who knows. I'm not complaining.

Anyway, just in case you like these polishes and don't want to read my less-than-glowing opinion of them, I'll post the pictures first and my review second :)



Blushing Bride. A sheer milky cream with a bit of a pink tint.


Cloud Nine. A sheer bright white jelly.



Happily Ever After. A sheer milky shade.



No Pre-Nup. A sheer pink jelly.


Tie The Knot. An off-white cream with a hint of beige.


True Love. A sheer peachy-pink jelly.


Now for my review.


Honestly, I HATE this collection. Sorry sheer-lovers. I just can't do it!

First of all, I never wear these types of colors so they are way outside of my comfort zone. They're not my style, not my personality, and really, really uninteresting to me. I'll go so far as to say that these polishes depress me. When I look down at my hands while wearing these, it's like seeing someone else's hands attached to my body. Freaky.

Second, what you're looking at is SIX COATS OF POLISH. No, I'm totally serious, six freaking coats of polish are on my nails here and they're not even close to being opaque. I do not like to see my nails through my polish. If I were to do only two or three coats of these polishes, it would pretty much look like I'm wearing nothing on my nails. I just don't see the point. With foundation it's one thing- wearing makeup to look like you're not wearing makeup. But my nails? This look is not for me, that's for sure.

Third, if your nails are even the least bit yellow or stained, these polishes will look like total crap. There is no hiding stains with these polishes. Any little bit of damage (like those white lines from where I slammed my finger in a cabinet) or discoloration will be glaringly obvious. These polishes require naturally flawless nails to wear, otherwise it just enhances and draws attention to any flaws that are present.

The colors are boring, plain, demure, uninteresting, natural and just all around too feminine for me. This means that a lot of women probably love these to death, and more power to them. If you like these colors, awesome for you. Thousands of them exist in the world and you can easily find something to suit your tastes. For me, they are the essence of frustration. When I go to the store looking for a cool new polish in a fun color, all I can find are hundreds of sheer pinks!! Sheer pinks are the bane of my existence, if you haven't noticed. Hah!

Okay, okay. I know I'm being harsh. But hey, this is my blog!

I guess there's one color I like from this collection. Cloud Nine.

Cloud Nine is really pretty. It's a bright white jelly that brightens your nails and makes them look very clean. I think it would be a good base for other colors and I'm sure it would make a really natural looking french manicure. If it wasn't so sheer, I might actually wear it. It's soft enough to not look retro, super bright but not stark and chalky looking! It is a really nice white jelly.

Why do all 'bridal' collections have to be so plain? Not every bride on earth wants plain nails on her wedding day. I sure didn't- I wore glitter! Holo glitter! OPI Paris Couture For Sure and Orly Love Each Other, to be exact. I wish someone would release a funky bridal collection for people like me. Seriously, not every bride wants to look identical and not every bride wants the stereotypical chunky fake pink-and-whites that plague the pages of bridal magazines and posters inside salons.

I can see that there are plenty of situations that call for these types of polishes. Job interviews, perhaps. Very conservative offices, sure. Jobs where you're not allowed to wear polish but want to do it anyway without drawing attention to it, totally.

Not all collections of sheer pinks are boring and plain. In fact, there is a collection of sheer pinks and whites that I absolutely love and would totally wear (and have actually worn)! I'll post about that later this week. Light feminine colors can have character and still be pretty (and not need six coats to wear).

*sigh*

43 comments:

  1. Yeah, I wish there'd be a bridal collection that has a bit more colour. They like to play it safe, hey?

    I can't do sheers either. It's all or nothing for me :p

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  2. I think we may have similar tastes. I am engaged and I want a loud, interesting color on my wedding day (I'm leaning toward either a vampy shade or a silver holo), not some boring pale shade! I don't understand why all polish companies seem to think that bride = sheer white/pink. I understand why pale shades are necessary in life (like you said, job interviews, conservative offices, etc.) but honestly, most of them end up looking fairly identical (I mean, how much can you really do with sheer and pale?). These companies need to STOP re-creating the exact same sheers and come up with a unique bridal collex! Or even a unique conservative collex (hello, OPI TMF???!!! RBL Grunge???!!)!!

    (end rant) :D Love your blog!

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  3. Gosh, these colors are not my cup of tea at all. I'm in the same boat as you here.

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  4. I'm glad someone finally noticed that not all brides-to-be want to wear streaky nudes!!! :-P

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  5. Damn girl...I feel ya. I wore chocolate brown nails on my wedding day without batting a eye. LOL I love color far more than the french tips, nudes, and sheers. I guess everyone doesn't think in color like us cool chicks.

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  6. Wow, this bridal collection makes me want to check the box marked "single" forever. Six coats? That's like a joke. Why even have a brush? Why not just dump the bottle over your nails to gain a semblance of opacity?

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  7. Phew! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's not a fan of plain wedding nails! I'm getting married in October and everyone seems to think that means an automatic set of acrylic French tips.

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  8. LE Ick. I remember requesting this collection, and it's just yucky! Thanks for reviewing it, but ewwie!

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  9. Snore...this collection is totally boring. I must admit I wore some pale pink on my wedding day, but that was before my polish addiction. If I could go back I'd wear a pale blue because that was the color some of the beads on my dress, my cake was blue, etc, etc. Oh well! Scrangie I would love to see your wedding day mani!

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  10. This collection is really boring and makes me want to stay single.
    6 coats? wow, is this a joke?
    Once I had a polish that needed 4 coats and I thought that was bad - swapped it of course.

    Cloud Nine looks like a nice white but is it also 6 coats like the rest of them? It's the only 1 I would consider getting because I'm looking for a nice non-stark white right now.

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  11. Thanks for doing these swatches. Every time I see No Pre-Nup I almost buy it.. something about it in the bottle looks sooo pretty, but it looks pretty bad on the nail. Thanks!

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  12. Your right. Sheer pink for brides is so typical. I work OPI Jewel of India! Luv that colour.

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  13. Boring!! Yes they're work appropriate, but even work appropriate can be a lot less boring!! Anyway I really liked to read what polish you wore on your wedding day! I'm getting married in september and wearing an off-white dress. I'm thinking about wearing OPI Opening Night Gold or CG It's My Turn or something like that. I mean, it's a party right? :-D

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  14. I agree totally! I wore a bright magenta/purple polish (probably a Sally Hansen) on my wedding day, which coordinated with the purple bridesmaids dresses. Ah the 90s :)....

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  15. SO AGREED. Streaky sheer nudes? No thanks. If it doesn't even out the appearance of my nail, it's not doing its job as a nail polish, even if it IS a light/sheer color. I'd honestly look better in a plain glossy top coat!

    I wore OPI Suzi Loves Sydney at my wedding. My dress was a deep maroon/burgundy. :-D

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  16. I wore a holo to my wedding too! OPI Sander-ella, my dress had a purple band and train it matched
    That other stuff is way too borning

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  17. I agree with you, this collection is boring and sheers are fugly!
    I wouldn't wear these to my funeral, let alone my wedding.

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  18. Wow, Scrangie. Thanks for swatching six coats. I would not have had that kind of patience! You're officially Saint Scrangie, The Patron Saint of Nail Polish!

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  19. I used to have No Pre-Nup ... got rid of it in the Zoya Polish Exchange. I hated it. I couldn't get any freaking color at all. I think I stopped @ 5 coats ... you actually got quite a bit my color than I was able to get.

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  20. Scrangie I agree with Siobhan, you are a Saint! I would NEVER paint 6 coats of polish on my nails. It's a wonder you could lift your hands. Sheers suck big time! If I was getting married now I would wear Revvolution. A nice holo with plenty of color. Be brave and wear something you love. Don't wear what everyone expects.

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  21. I don't mind sheers - I used to have a very sheer purple jelly that I LOVED. But sheer pinks and beiges? Did the world really need more of these? Ugh.

    My own wedding mani was actually black polish - my hubs and I eloped at the courthouse. I think I wore black crop pants and one of his black t-shirts. *laugh*

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  22. Ew. I love jellies but with some color! (I have on RBL's Bikini Bottom at three thin coats.)

    I agree that Cloud Nine is very pretty on you. But six coats? Pff.

    Dana Cerise

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  23. If I ever get married, I am wearing Zoya Raven! I swear nail polish companies just take the same 5 or so sheer colors and slap new names on them and call that a bridal collection.

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  24. I agree with you 100%!!! This collection or shall I ask Essie's polishes never did a thing for me!!! They are too boring for me!!! When I got married 20 years ago I wore red polish-I don't remember the name but the pictures of me when you saw my nails look great!!!!!

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  25. Can you show us your wedding manicure? ^^

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  26. Oh man, I knew when you mentioned in a previous post that you would be swatching the Essie Bridal Collection that you were gonna slam it lol. =)

    I'm with Sandra, I would loooove to see your wedding manicure I'm trying to picture in my head how it would've looked.

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  27. I really don't like Essie, they seem too boring. This collection is definitely a snorefest. I don't usually wear sheers (the few I own are Zoya or China Glaze, so not boring). One of the neatest colors I have for layering is Orly's Cut the Cake, and I think that's from a bridal collection. It's a white glitter and Nfu.Ohs look great over it. I definitely think it would be cool to see a collection released that's holo or glitter or glass flecked for a wedding.

    Thanks for the review ;)

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  28. Your nails are always so perfectly shaped, I thought for sure they were fake. What a surprise!

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  29. PREACH IT! I was surprised to see you even review it! I wish a nail company would come out with a blinged out bridal selection a la Chanel Kaleidoscope...now THAT'S something to get married to!

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  30. I wore OPI Los Angeles Latte because I was going through my "brown" stage. I still love that color....

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  31. ITA with you on this collection - snooze-fest! I liked how Tie the Knot looked in these pics...but I don't like it 6 coats-worth.
    I love Opaque nudes and would love to see more of these, my poor stained nails just can't wear sheers like this. I want to rock red nails when I get married haha

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  32. Whoa, 6 coats ? The two white shades are pretty, but everything else is very ....... plain. Everyone is right about bridal collections,there all the same! (un-inspiring)


    Props to you for even swatching these.

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  33. i HATE chunky acrylics *shudder*
    i have maybe 2 or 3 of these polishes- but im ok with these colors :)i agree that essie sheers get pretty boring tho

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  34. I'm all about feminine colors, but these are down right pukey. Although, you make them look better than they are! I respect your opinion on these. Yeah, really, what is wrong with some HOT colors for a bridal collection? My wife had some rocking nails on our wedding. Great length and opi Opal. I about had a heart attack. I think was the only one that noticed... Sorry, memory lane moment. Any way, thanks for taking the time to swatch something you don't even like; a true professional.

    Scott

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  35. I really like them :D Thanks for the swatches Scrangie

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  36. You all are hilarious! I was laughing so hard reading this. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who isn't in to these sheer pinks... So I wonder who DOES wear these? They've been making them a billion years... My Mom used to always wear a bright, medium orange creme (with matching lipstick of course). I can remember what her lipstick smelled like... and that the way she put it on made the lipstick bullet flat on the tip! Is that weird or what (I'll be 45 next week)?! I'm new to these blogs, but I've noticed several times people referring to swapping polish. Is this something that the polish companies offer on a regular basis? I read about the Zoya swap, and am going to try that for the first time.

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  37. You know... you just summarized everything I think. I'm getting married next month and am looking for a bright pink/fuscha color but all I see in bridal collections are these girly little sheer things!!! I hate them!!! I'm more of a brights or darks girl... I'm not going to wear black on my wedding day but I feel like bright pink is very appropriately me!!! Any suggestions?

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  38. I do bridal manicures all the time and it makes me die a little more inside whenever the poor boring bride requests a french. HOWEVER, I do "encourage" (by thrusting it under their nose) topping the white with something interesting, like OPI "Princesses Rule!" Or "Who Needs a Prince?". In fact, the OPI bridal collections since this have been vastly superior. Thank goodness.

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  39. Why are these colors not just favored but pushed for brides? Because they play into the whole 'virginal, unsullied, never been used', women as a commodity bullshit. I wish more women would pick up on that and assert a little independence and personality into their choices.

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  40. I actually like a classic mani for a wedding - I had classic french. But I wouldn't wear any of these every day...generally I go with blue or dark purple or red, hot pink etc:) not streaky pale pink. For a classic french i love the Essie Mademoiselle, best pink ever!

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  41. Nina - you mentioned you wore pale pink nails on your wedding day but that was "before your polish addiction". Hmm, I realize I may have developed one! I started ordering a few pastel spring colours, then I started haunting the nail polish blogs.. now I find myself ordering them by the dozen online, and searching specific names via ebay :-D I guess I'm officially an addict!

    I don't know yet what I will want to wear on my wedding day - I came across your blog for the Princess CHarming (OPI) collection. Love all of them - will wear them for variety reasons aside more colourful polishes. I think I may like one of them for my wedding day, who knows! Thanks for this review though, I don't like near-transparent shades. I would never want to have to apply 6 shades to get the effect you showed on the pics! Am in love with OPI Princess judging from your post though! thanks a billion!

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  42. Im really into the sheers/nudes nowadays and I love the "Tie The Knot"! Thank heaven I found a new temp job to pay my HUGE wishlist :)

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