Sunday, April 1, 2012

Preview of my new polish line!

I've been thinking about designing my very own line of nail polish for a long time, but there are so many indie polish brands now that I really had to think of a way to make my creations stand out in the crowd. Elbow deep into a half-empty bag of Doritos one night, I observed my cheese-dust-stained fingertips with a mixture of awe and disgust and I thought to myself... That's it. I've finally found my inspiration. FLAVORED NAIL POLISH. Kinda like scented nail polish, except instead of just stinking, it tastes like stuff too!

Nail biters, are you sick of the bad taste of normal nail polish? Flavored polish is your answer. Love scented polish, but disappointed that it doesn't taste good also? Flavored polish. Counting calories, but in need of a snack that won't add to your total? Flavored polish. Genius idea, right?? Flavored polish is fat-free, sugar-free, zero carb, and zero calorie. Great taste, less filling! Plus, it makes your nails look real purdy.

The colors are all still in the development phase, but these are the prototypes I have so far:

Homestyle Ranch. The base is a creamy buttermilk white with flecks of fresh cracked pepper and a mixture of eleven secret herbs and spices.


Nacho Cheese. A vivid, unnaturally delicious nacho cheese orange, artificially colored with Annatto and FD&C Yellow #6.



Tangy Barbecue. A molasses and brown sugar base with a bit of tomato and a smoky finish.



Spicy Buffalo Wing. A red hot, vinegar-soaked cayenne pepper. Gives me heartburn just looking at it.


Honey Mustard. A spicy deli mustard yellow with honey for sweetness and just a slight amount of creaminess to pull it all together.

These flavored polishes have a texture that seems like regular nail polish, but it has a secret, patented, space-age formula that allows it to taste good when you lick it. It's extremely high-tech and definitely does not involve pouring the leftover dust from bags of chips into bottles of nail polish. Crazy advanced super secret formula. There's no other polish like this, so please don't attempt to taste or eat any other brand of nail polish. Seriously. Don't eat nail polish.

Now, I haven't been able to come up with a good name for the brand. Tasty Tips? Delicious Digits? Flavored Phalanges by Scrangie? Nacho Mama's Nail Polish. Edible to the Eponychium. Still working on that one.

These are all still prototypes, but I'm aiming for a release date of December 21, 2012. Please click here if you'd like to get on the waiting list!

245 comments:

  1. uhh, Spicy Buffalo Wing looks super gorgeous! Nice line!

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  2. your april 1st posts are ALWAYS the best. always.

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  3. ahh now I get it.. it's an april fool.. haha ;)

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  4. Haha! Barbecue nail polish, I love it. :D

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  5. Wait what day is it today.. ;)

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  6. Love everything! Right down to the yummy design on the waiting list! :D

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  7. I vote Flavored Phalanges and that this is the best April Fool's joke I've seen in a long time!

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  8. Thanks for the giggles, nice April Fools' trick. :) ...although I would like my nails polish smell better... :D

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  9. You are too funny by half!!! Love your blog. You made my morning!

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  10. I always love your April Fools jokes!

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  11. Lmao ! omg, I had to read the beginning twice before I clicked on ! loll but I'm reading this as 12.15 here in the uk ; P hehe : )

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  12. I'll be honest, I'd totally buy the homestyle ranch LOL. How do you do that? It looks fab.

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  13. Lol, I hate you but I love you at the same time! Scrangie!!! <3

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  14. I also really like the release date...very dramatic! :-D

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  15. You amaze me with your creativity on these pranks every year! In all seriousness, I really wish you would create a polish line. I have rbl scrangie and I think you did such a good job on that color.

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  16. hilarious, scrangie ... what a cool idea for TODAY ... ;-) ... love love love it. many sign-ups already?

    xxx
    monika (still giggling)

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  17. Hahahaha you're great and happy 1st of April and all that ;-)

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  18. Hahaaaa! This is amusing. If it was real I'd be totally into it though :)

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  19. love it :) Happy April 1st to you too my sweet xxx

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  20. Now we need to know which polishes you used as the descriptions helped us to develop a lemming or 2

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  21. Wow, what an amazing and innovative idea! I already can not wait to try this!!

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  22. Awesome post, best of luck on the new line. I'm sure there are lemmings there for everyone! I can't wait to try the spicy buffalo myself.

    Oh, and happy April first to you. Great way to start the day ;)

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  23. Awww. I thought if I clicked on that link I would be rickroll'd again :D

    Flavoured nailpolish is a great idea, though haha!

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  24. Had I not seen a video of an AF joke 5 minutes ago, I'd have absolutely fallen for this. :)

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  25. ROFL. Perfect release date, too. You know your market!

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  26. ha ha very good Scrangie, wonder how many people will fall for this!

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  27. The Buffalo Wing polish needs a Tangy Blue Cheese accent top coat. ;-)

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  28. In Germany you say April, April! Funny idea :D

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  29. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh why do I wish this was real?! Homestyle Ranch would be so awesome!

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  30. I LOVE YOUR POSTS EVERY YEAR! Happy April Fools!

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  31. Congratulations! I've been a longtime reader of your blog but this is my first time leaving a comment. I'm so excited! I hope I can get my hands on these when they become available. :)

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    Replies
    1. I just realized it's April 1. But seriously, I think your own polish line is a great idea.

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    2. I just realized it's April 1. :p

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  32. wow congratulations!! they all look so interesting!!

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  33. APRIL FOOL!!! You nearly had me. I was actually loving the sound of Homestyle Ranch until I realised what day it was :-)

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  34. Hahahaha, very cute!! Happy 4-1-12 to you! :)

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  35. I must say-you got me-part of me really didn't think that was possible and I kept thinking of the girl on addictions who drinks nail polish. I have to know what polish that tangy barbecue is-that is one stunning color! You got me good! Thanks Scrangie!

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  36. PS I also saw that you used the date of the end of the world as your polish take off date-kind of had an idea you were messing with me!

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  37. This is wonderful! I'm starting a diet today and have to give up most condiments. Licking my nails would be a great way to get the flavour without the calories!

    Would you consider developing pepperoni pizza and steak fajita flavors???

    (I didn't think you could top the pennies but you did. Kudos, Ms. Scrangie, kudos.)

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  38. God I am so gullible, I almost fell for it!

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  39. This is wonderful! I'm starting a strict diet today and can't have most condiments. Now I can just lick my fingers to get the flavors.

    Also would you consider making pepperoni pizza, fried chicken and caramel topped brownie flavors???

    (sidenote: I didn't think you could top the pennies but you did. Kudos!)

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  40. srsly? is it a 1st april joke or something?:D

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  41. How many calories per nail is that?

    You crack me up every year.

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  42. How about dessert, don't forget it! ;-)

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  43. This post is so appropriate for this year and I straight up cackled while I read it. :) The only name I could come up with was Tasty Toxins ... but that sucks.

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  44. Whaaaaaat! That. Is. So. Awesome. Shut up and take my money already!!

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  45. lol, this made me laugh so hard. then I rememberd it was April fools and laughed even more :D

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  46. :D imagine if there were really flavoured nail polishes in existence!

    thanks scrangie for the crazy, but super awesome cute prank idea :p

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  47. Oh, oh! I vote "Flavored Phalanges by Scrangie"! Any product with 'phalanges' in the name is a-ok with me. Sounds scrumptious ;-)

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  48. Meehhhhh! Happy April fool's day Scrangie lol

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  49. Oh my gosh, this is too funny!! XD

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  50. The first one makes me think of cookies and cream :) Lovely job!

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  52. Tangy BBQ, now that's the way to my heart. The rest of them not so much, but mmmm BBQ sauce, lol.

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  53. lol I actually think there is a market for this!!

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  54. Oh Scrangie, last year's April Fools post was amazing, but this, this is something else! Amazing, amazing, amazing. :D Loved it.

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  55. OMG!
    they look gorgeous & their names are perfect!

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  56. OMG Scrangie you're too funny. Happy 4/1!

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  57. Can you taste the flavor even with topcoat? 'Cause that stuff's NARSTY. LOL

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  58. Thanks for making me laugh! Of course, I still hope for the day you have your own polish line!

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  59. Awesome. (I'll never forget the pennies heh.)

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  60. Good one!! Once I started to read about the "flavored" concept I knew it was April Fool's. But I must say I got super excited when I thought you'd created your own polish line. Sad face.

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  61. I swear, for three years in a row now, you are the first person to remind me that it is April 1st.

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  62. NIce joke. However, the colors are gorgeous! I want them all!

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  63. How about 'Nom Nom Nails'?
    (Wishing you a happy April Fool's Day.)

    N

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  64. i'm login the name flavored phalanges ;)

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  65. lmfao I vote for "Flavored Phalanges".
    too good scrangie!

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  66. Trollolololololololololololol!!!! OMG you are hillarious. I love how your polishes will bring on the mayan apocalypse loool!

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  67. Oh Scrangie, you so silly ;)

    Happy April Fool's day! The first one should have been Cookies and Cream! yum.

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  68. What polish did you use for the Tangy BBQ? It's so pretty!

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  69. What polish did you use for the Tangy BBQ? It's beautiful!

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  70. I don't eat my nails. My nails don't go anywhere near my mouth. It's impossible to have long nails if you're gnawing on them.

    Also, just because a nail polish might be flavored doesn't mean it's safe to eat.

    I just have to be honest: I think this is a weird/bordering on silly idea. Besides, the colors themselves are not standouts.

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  71. Seriously just lol'ed so hard I nearly peed myself xD

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  72. *facepalm* Forgot the date. LOL nice.

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  73. haha! I was in shock and horror at first! I thought "she can't be serious, this is a COMPLETELY terrible, crazy idea!"

    Man, oh man. You had me going. I totally forgot it's April 1st today! But since that first polish isn't actually Homestyle Ranch, might I ask what that pretty black micro and hex glitter polish is? :)

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  75. I sincerely hope this is an April Fool's joke.

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  76. I seriously thought you lost your mind for a second, because I forgot it was April 1.

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  77. Yikes, LOL! That would be disgusting!!!! I knew you would do your best to fool us today....but spicy buffalo wing nail polish? LMFAO!!!

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  78. PS- I understand if you don't want to approve my previous comment.... As it will give it away for those who don't catch on.

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  79. Scrangie, could you make a chocolate one? I really love chocolate! :)

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  80. I actually like Tasty Tips as a name but my talent for naming things is non-existent. I'm a big honey-mustard fan so I'd have to try it out of sheer curiosity! lol But thankfully I"m not a nail biter or I'd have to re-do my nails every five minutes! This collection of polishes would be great coming out in the next month or so because they are all Summer Cook-Out flavors. Got my fingers crossed for you! Hope it all works out well :)

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  81. gahh! you had me so excited when i saw the title. then i remembered what day it was....

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  82. Hahaha you got me... I was like "Is this serious?!"

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  83. I must say this is THE most creative April 1st article i've read so far!!!
    I'm even considering liking this day a little bit because of this :-)) (I have some early years trauma that makes me HATE April 1st forever and ever)

    Gorgeous colors though. I'm deff in love with them!!!

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  84. These are amazing! SO different from everything else that's out there and I love the theme. On the waiting list I go. Congrats on the new line!

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  85. Hahaha, D'oh! Got me gooooood :-)

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  86. Lol!!! Best April fools prank I've seen all day :)

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  87. April Fool's, lol! Good one but not a bad idea.

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  88. April Fool's, lol! Good one but not a bad idea.

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  89. You could get sponsorships! Pepsi... Folgers or Maxwell House or Starbucks.... KFC could sponsor a "Finger Licking Good" fried chicken flavor...

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  90. loolololool :)))
    you beat yourself every year :)))

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  91. Hahahaha, Happy April Fools' Day to you too!

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  92. I like "Nacho Mama's Nail Polish."

    Happy April Fool's Day!

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  93. I'd love the Honey Mustard & Ranch ones ;)

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  94. I love your sense of humor!

    <3 Shannon

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  95. Where's the dessert polish? Make a Happy Birthday dupe that tastes like cake! 7-up polish would be totally sweet too!

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  96. These sound so0o0 fantastic!! Hahah. :PPP

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  97. I applaud your entrepreneurial spirit. The world NEEDS flavored polishes; however, as a confirmed sweet tooth, I notice there's no chocolate, caramel, marshmallow, etc. Whatcha waitin' for, girl? Get busy!!!! LOL (Btw, best thing I've read today, thanks!) :-p

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  98. How exciting! I am loving homestyle ranch and tangy barbeque sauce! Home run!

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  99. I started reading this and I was like, "What... in... the... WORLD?!" and then I realized what day it was and giggled to myself. You had me going for a good minute though. Nice one!

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  100. Completely twisted and totally hilarious...a girl after my own heart. Love it! ;)

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  101. LOL, nice Scrangie! I did think the Homestyle Ranch looked super cute though! Nerdlacquer?

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  102. LOL, nice Scrangie! I did think the Homestyle Ranch was super cute though. Nerdlacquer?

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  103. Wow! You got me all the way until I started reading comments! And I was so sad, because it grossed me out and I didn't want any of them. ROFL. I just had to share this on my page! In all reality, if you did come out with a REAL line, we would all clamor to buy! That Homestyle Ranch one is beautiful in its own right! The RBL you came up with is fantastic as would any unmunchable line you created! Tanks for the great start to my April Fools!

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  104. Best April Fools Post Today!! I was laughing so hard I spit coffee all over myself!

    And yes, I too must know what the Homestyle Ranch polish is. Lemming that hard!

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  105. That girl who is addicted to drinking nail polish on My Strange Addiction would LOVE this!

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  106. Hmmm I would go for a chocolate or mountain dew flavored...If anybody really could do this it would be a best seller and they would never be able to keep them in stock.

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  107. Is this an April fool's joke?

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  108. Is this an April Fool's joke?

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  109. I love your April Fools posts. I make it a mission to come on here and check your funny posts.

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  110. That was excellent, you really had me going, and for some reason it clicked when I came to Spicy Buffalo Wing, hah. I just kept thinking, "Who would choose these flavors?!" XD Nice one!!

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  111. LOLOL, Flavored Phalanges bahaha. This was great, I loved it.

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  112. I knew from the second I began to read the post it was a joke but what an awesome one! I'm surprised someone hasn't stolen that idea for a collection yet!

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  113. Yeah I would def. wear Tangy BBQ and yes this made me think of that pour girl on My Strange Addiction that drank nail polish like 5-Hour Energy Drinks!

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  114. This is hilarious! You have the best April Fools posts.

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  115. Cute joke, and now I know how to properly pronounce "Scrangie"!

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  116. I am way too gullible for words lol!! I was so excited!! Lmbo best April Fool's Joke EVERRRR!! (=

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  117. As soon as I got home from church today, I had to run to the computer and get on your blog, Scrangie, because you always have the best April Fool's Day posts. Not disappointed!

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  118. Great April Fool's post! I can admit, you had me believing this was true until I remembered what today was.

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  119. Hahahaha, I love your sense of humour, Scrangie! :P This was a cute April Fool's joke. (I really enjoy that you do something each year.)

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  120. You are hilarious!!!! And to think...the only thing I had planned for today was to put a rubber band around the sprayer of my kitchen sink. You're a genius!!!!!!!!!!!

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  121. Too funny! But I have to say, I love your Homestyle Ranch mani!

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  122. that was a good one Scrangie! lol Love that Ranch mani though, what did you use to create that yummy jelly sandwich?

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    1. If I had to guess, I'd say it was OPI Don't Touch My Tutu and Lynderella Connect the Dots. It at least should get you close!

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  123. Homestyle ranch is beautiful I hate ranch but I still would of bought it!

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  124. This is too funny. I love it. Those colors are amazing though!

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  125. Every year you have clever April Fools pranks. Always so funny!!

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  126. bummer, I reply to your tweet then realized it's april the 1st

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  127. You're a GENIUS. There's just no other word for it.

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  128. Tell us the ranch secret! Beautiful! Loved the post but I screamed "Woooooo Scrangie has polish!" at first! Happy April Fools!

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  129. Hahaha, I love the names and Homestyle Ranch is frickin' awesome!

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  130. Tricky Tricky! I figured the flavored bit was a joke but now I really want Homestyle Ranch! Dang it!

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  131. Hahahaha! LOVE this! I just hope the lady who drinks nail polish doesn't see this! ;)

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  132. This made my horrible day into an incredibly awesome one!

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  133. I genuinely believed this for about half a second...and then I remembered what date it is! Doh. Great joke - happy April Fool's Day!

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  134. I am simultaneously lemming nail polish AND buffalo wings with nacho cheese.

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  135. Haha! End of the world, why not go out in style with some Nacho Nails!! Is it really bad that even though I knew it was an April Fool that I still imagined licking the nails? No? Just me? Perhaps not the Phalange ones.... Great post, and still the best nail photographer in all the land :) x

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  136. i love the first one, it reminds me of easter eggs.

    Xo

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  137. Love love love it! Good job :D

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  138. Love love love it! Good job :D

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  139. This is just one more reason why you are the best, Scrangie!!! Awesome post - I LOVE your sense of humour!!! You definitely had some people going... good job!!! Oh yes, and my favourite polish line name is "Nacho Mama's Nail Polish"

    Thank you for the giggle!!!

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  140. I had a good giggle :)
    In all seriousness, I would buy the crap out of any line you made, even if they had flavour (ick!)

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  141. Hahahahaha! You're awesome. For a second I actually thought you were serious, then I remember what day it was.

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  142. Really well tried!!!! u deserve an aplaud for the wild imagination though!!

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  143. Homestyle Ranch and Honey Mustard would be my favorites. They look pretty unique.

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  144. Damn. Definitely fell for it. Except for the flavored part. I kept thinking "that must be a typo." I really wanted the honey mustard one though! What is that? For real...

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  145. Good colors, but HORRIBLE names... I'm sorry. I wouldn't buy them because the names make the colors look gross, like the actual condiments... especially "Homestyle Ranch", I gagged on that one.

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  146. I figured it was an April Fools joke, but had to click on the pre order just in case. I laughed my butt off.....

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  147. :D great post, I was wondering with what would you come up this year!!!! "Edible to the Eponychium" ROTFL!!!

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  148. Bahahahah! I can just imagine the other comments: "OH MY GOD, eating nail polish is SOOO bad for you!" Good one, Scrangie :)

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