Friday, June 13, 2014

Depression Open Thread

China Glaze Boogie Down

This is a little check-in post just to say hi, I'm here, I'm not planning on abandoning my blog, but I'm having some life challenges at the moment and I haven't been able to devote much time to swatching. I want to do something a little different during this downtime, and here's what I'm thinking:

Need to talk about anything?  Depression?  Health issues?  If you'd like to vent or ask questions, use the comments thread on this post to engage with each other (and me).  I know it's nice to find out that you're not alone in your struggles, and you know I won't judge, so if you wanna talk about something, please do!

Thanks for sticking with me :)


56 comments:

  1. Longtime reader, first comment, simply to say I appreciate your blog, and I wish you lots of peace and joy personally, whatever's on your plate right now.

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  2. I love you, Scrangie, and I'm sorry you're busy or having a hard time. I have clinical depression, but have been doing very well the last few months due to therapy and close monitoring of my medication. And luck- gotta give it up for luck. I hope it keeps up, and I hope you feel better soon, too.

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  3. Depression is such a son of a bitch. It deprives you of joy and the things you love most in life. For me, depression is like walking around with sunglasses all the time. It's always dark and the colors are muted, and I can't see everything like everyone else does. :( Prozac has helped a lot but I still struggle with depression every day. By the way, to whomever is reading this that doesn't understand depression: Never tell a depressed person to "cheer up." It's not that easy. Depression isn't the same thing as being sad. It's a whole nother ballpark.

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  4. I have been having a fairly good time of it lately. After being unemployed for seven months (thank you ghods for overlapping benefit-claim years!!) I not only found a job in my field that pays me well, but it's with a team of kickass people AND I get to work from home some days. And when I do need to go in, the commute is less than 30 minutes.

    So here, I seem to have a bit of extra Good Vibes. Anyone who needs some, feel free to take!!

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  7. Just to show my support, hope whatever is you're going thru atm you be able to see the end of it soon. Sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming but is important to remember the good things and also not to forget those little thing that makes us happy, even if it's a little bit. I'm also a nail blogger and relatively new mom (7 months baby), we are as well in the process of leaving Mexico (my home country) and move to England (my husband's) and some days it gets really, really hard to try and balance work, home, family, wifely duties, coordinating moving out, friends, etc. (not mention that I can get emotional) and I really don't feel like you said, up much for swatching and nail bloggin' but I try to make myself give that little extra and spend an hour on my nail blog to get just a little "ME" time and ultimately some peace of mind. So, we're here for you, your followers, readers. When it seems that it's getting too hard, just do something that gives you a little peace of mind.

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  10. hey there. longtime reader, seldom poster... I've been through it - just remember that we are not alone with the big D. Sometimes, me just acknowledging that I have it makes me feel somewhat better. and maybe I put on one of my favorite movies or go for a walk. I force myself into social situations and usually come out smiling. But sometimes it feels like I have nothing to really talk about. Sometimes driving and just checking out a different town will help knock me out of it. Such are the solutions since I don't want to be on meds for this kind of thing. Stubborn me.

    For those that suffer with this, hang in there. Remember that a good day could be later today or tomorrow, and try to wake up with a clean slate. :-)

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    1. Yeah, novelty always seems to help me! Going to a new place, seeing new scenery, trying new foods, hearing new music... but sometimes I'm encased in cement and can't appreciate anything! Love ya!

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  11. Hi Scrangie,l you are my favourite nail blogger and I'm sorry that you're going through this. I've just been diagnosed as being bi-polar at the grand age of 37, it's a bit of a relief as it goes as I know I'll soon be put on the correct medication and will be able to carry on with my life after a couple of very horrible years off work.

    I hope all goes well for you and whatever you're going through soon heals or comes to an end. You're fantastic lady, full stop.

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    1. Ow, that's so tough. Having a diagnosis can sometimes be a relief! It means we can take control. *hugs*

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  12. Could chemical exposure be part of the issue? Toluene (in Seche Vite) has been linked to depression, among other things.

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    1. I cut back on exposure just in case, but unfortunately I inherited it and I've had it all my life :(

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  13. I'm so sorry that you're going through a hard time. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

    I've been going through a tough time myself. My husband has been recently diagnosed with depression with severe anxiety. For the past month, he's been suffering debilitating anxiety attacks several times a day. Like a man, he refused to go to the doctor, saying that it was just work stress. Unfortunately he waited until he'd used all of his sick time at work to decide that something wasn't right. While we were at the doctor's, I found out just how bad it was. He said that there were days where he didn't even want to get out of bed. Last weekend was a really bad one for him. He was terrified that he was going to lose his job, and I was a little worried too. I kept looking at the bills when he was sleeping, trying to figure out just how we were going to make things work. Luckily, his leave has been approved for these 2 weeks... hopefully it will get extended to cover any more attacks. I'm starting to see glimpses of him again as his meds start working.

    I'm used the shoe being on the other foot; I've been living with bipolar disorder, and I swear, he made it look so easy dealing with me. It's not easy; it's not easy at all. Seeing him so different that his usual self has been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life.

    But things WILL get better. For you, for my husband, and for everyone else. There is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it may look right now.

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  14. I am so sorry that you're going through a hard time. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

    I've also been going through some rough patches. Over the last month, my husband has been suffering debilitating panic attacks, sometimes several within one day. I tried to get him to go to the doctor, but he kept saying that it was just work stress. He finally decided last week to go to the doctor, but only after exhausting all of sick time. He was diagnosed with depression with severe anxiety. I can't believe I didn't see how bad it was; he said there were some days that he didn't even want to get out of bed. Last weekend was a really bad one. If he wasn't asleep, he was in a constant state of panic. Because he'd used his sick time, he was terrified that his leave of absence wouldn't get approved and he'd lose his job :( Even I started worrying about it. While he was asleep, I'd just stare at the monthly bills, trying to figure out just how I was going to make things work. On Monday, they adjusted his meds, and so far, things look like they are slowly getting better, and his leave was approved to cover these 2 weeks. I'm just hoping it gets extended to cover subsequent attacks. We're still waiting for his pay to get approved so these 2 weeks might be unpaid, but we'll work through it. It's stupid how they want you to get better but make it damn hard to do so!

    I've suffered from bipolar disorder for some time, and he made it look so easy. But it's not... it's not easy at all. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. To look at him, and not see the man I married. But I'm starting to see glimpses of him... his normal self. And I know it's going to take time.

    Things will get better... for you, for my husband, for everyone suffering. There is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it is right now. You just have to take things in manageable steps... one week at a time, one day, one hour, even one breath.

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    1. Sometimes we're good at hiding it... until we can't anymore. I know I do at least. Hang in there, we can manage this <3

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  15. Hi, seldom poster here too. Just sending virtual hugs as I'm in a MH slump at the moment. Wishing you well.

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  16. Just sending love to you. You're always so brave to be open about what you're going through, and I think that's the best thing you can do so others (and you!) know they're/you're not alone. So many people deal with depression and it's so misunderstood by people who haven't experienced it.

    Always sending you light and good thoughts. Love your blog and I'm always really happy to see you post, here, on Twitter or Instagram! XO

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  17. Just sending love to you. You're always so brave to be open about what you're going through, and I think that's the best thing you can do so others (and you!) know they're/you're not alone. So many people deal with depression and it's so misunderstood by people who haven't experienced it.

    Always sending you light and good thoughts. Love your blog and I'm always really happy to see you post, here, on Twitter or Instagram! XO

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  18. I feel ya... it makes me not want to do anything, go anywhere, interact with anyone... :(

    Hugs

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  19. Scrangie, just wanted to let you know that it was your blog that was the first blog I ever followed. Just remember that what you are feeling right now does not define who you are; even though you may feel that it does.

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  20. ((( hugs ))) I suffer depression, caused by my recent health diagnoses. One of my health issues, there isn't a cure, the other will require radiation treatment in the future. I'm sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay positive, I know it's hard to at times. ❤️

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  21. Fellow sufferer thinking about you and pining for a magic wand... or time travel... or maybe just a miracle. (as if the first two weren't!)

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  22. Luv you Scrangie....you were one of my first nail blogs I read :) I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Btdt, have the drawer of meds to prove it. I'm here if you or any one needs to talk. This time last year I was in a real dark horrible place. That's better but my health and pain is so bad I don't even want to paint my nails. That's bad. Sorry for the cliche but it does get better....or you gain the tools to cope if it doesn't. Just keep hanging in there. You matter...that goes for everyone..and I do care. Xoxox

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  23. Fellow sufferer thinking about you and pining for a magic wand... or time travel... or maybe just a miracle. (as if the first two weren't!)

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  24. Just remember that you are not defined by what you are feeling right now, even though you feel like you are. Hope you are feeling better soon.

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  25. It's lovely reading all those comments, when one is a fellow sufferer. It just is so nice to know that one is not alone with the struggles. I'm one of the bipolars, too, paired with a personality disorder and social anxiety, so I do know hard it is and I sincerely hope for you that things are going to be better in the future.
    Your blog was always one of the very few places where you and readers were open about mental illness and it's very much appreciated.

    Good luck to you in getting better :).

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  26. I discovered your blog several years ago when I became interested in polish as a distraction from the loneliness after my kids moved far away. I've always been an outsider but that made it worse. Just know that you have touched many more lives than you will ever realize and you have accomplished so much to bring lightness and enjoyment to others. I don't have any answers, but recently I've become tired of the weight of my polish collection and polish groups that I've used as a substitute for real interactions.

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  27. I don't think I've ever posted here but I've enjoyed your blog for years and I can identify with your struggle although I'm old enough to be your mom, or possibly grandma. I've had inherited depression/GAD/bipolar tendencies my whole life - both parents, my sister and my daughter are all sufferers too - and I would just encourage you to continue to seek help and meds until you find something that works for you, there are so many options now. There weren't for me or my sister early on and it was unbeatable sometimes. I've found that antidepressants work for about a year, then fizzle, but adding in mood stabilizers has helped me tremendously. Hang in there xx

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  28. Scrangie, I feel you - I've had a good time of it lately for the most part, but there have been times when I really, really haven't, and I haven't forgotten how it feels. My thoughts are with you as you deal with your current challenges, and I hope that things improve for you soon. I've loved your blog for years, and you were the first nail blogger I followed regularly. I still look back at swatches of yours when I'm debating whether or not to pick up older polishes.

    Hugs to you and to all of us with MH issues.

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  29. Ack! I think my comment got eaten, so if this shows up twice, I apologize.

    Scrangie, I feel you - I'm doing really well for the most part now, but there have been times when I really, really haven't, and I haven't forgotten how it feels. My thoughts are with you as you go through your current challenges, and I hope things improve for you soon. Your blog was the first I followed regularly, and I still look at your swatches when I'm deciding whether or not to pick up an older polish.

    Hugs to you and to all of us.

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  30. Just checking in to say that I am dealing with some life challenges at the moment too, including a bit of depression. Depression is a long time companion, alas, but I have found healthy ways to reduce its impact.

    One of my biggest ways to keep it at bay is to put time aside to have fun every day. It is too easy to get bogged down in the day to day struggle and for my emotional well-being I have to find things to enjoy about life. It doesn't matter if it is going to dinner with a friend, spending quality time with my pets, or putting a favorite movie in and watching it while eating ice cream. Something pleasant, just for me.

    Exercise is also very helpful, but it can be difficult when one is also dealing with health issues (as I am). So I do what I can. I hope life settles down for you and we get to enjoy your awesome blog again soon.

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  31. Hugs to you! Depression (and anxiety) is the reason I've been neglecting my blog. I had a crazy idea (with my dr's blessing) that I could wean off my meds. Bad idea. Anxiety attacks came back...they're debilitating. Back on meds now and much better. Now trying to unbury myself from what I didn't do while I wasn't feeling well.

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  32. I really love your blog. You've got the best fingers in the business! I'm sorry that you're going through tough times. I've battled depression my whole life, and I know there's not much anyone can say to change the situation. But hopefully knowing how many of us truly appreciate you and what you do will put a little bit of light at the end of your tunnel. Take time for yourself. When you're back in fighting shape, we'll be here for you!

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  33. Depression and neurosis are my second names. Maybe that's why im collecting polishes and focusing on them. Hugs Scrangie.

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  34. I love your blog. Take your time and get well at your own pace.

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  35. I've never commented before and yours is the first blog I've followed. Your openness about depression gives me great hope for forums like these for those of us who live with these illnesses. I'm depressed or anxious, no rest, except the knowledge there are others dealing with the same sh*t. You're talented and bangin taste. Rock on!

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  36. I also suffer from depression, winter is the worst for me. The best thing to do is find something you love and focus only on it. My cats help me with my depression, as do your posts! Love ya girl Hope your depression lessens!

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  37. Depression is the devil :( I've been struggling with it a lot and it is horrible. I recently graduated from university, am working 40-45 hours a week in a food service job, and don't feel like myself.

    I hope you keep improving,because this is terrible.

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  38. I suffer from depression too, caused from a lot of traumas. A few years ago the depression took over me and I had to suffer from headache 24/7 for 6 months. This made it even worse. At that time I found nails as a hobby and your blog. Luckily I found a great therapy for me, it's the "Somatic Experiencing" therapy. No medication. Only this therapy. Then a year ago I had a bad backlash. It was the worst I've ever felt. But I didn't give up. I went to the therapy almost every day. On top I painted my nails all the time and spend a lot of time with my cat. And now I'm pretty good at the moment :) I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. I don't wish this upon anyone. I send you a lot of good vibes, keep on fighting. I love your blog :) <3

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  39. Hey, Scrangie - I've been a fan of your blog for years and haven't really left many comments (if any), but I just wanted to stop in and say I really appreciate your blog and swatches, and I'm wishing the best for you. :]

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  40. Life is hard and every day is a struggle. I spent Mother's day planning my suicide, but I went to the doctor and got new meds. I feel better, but every day is still a struggle. I'll keep you in my thoughts. I hope you keep me in yours.

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  41. I've had some hard time myself and having sort of hard time right now, also the good ones and happy ones, so that's what life's about, ups and downs, that's how it goes and we should start making peace with it.
    The greatest thing about this life is to be able to get up, so you can just feel gratitude to the chance you are given to prove your strenght.
    Many people think that the depressed ones are just weak, but I don't think so. I think they are stronger than others can imagine and surely stronger than they can think about themselves in these down phases.
    If you're going to some kind of hell right now, just keep going and you will see your reward and your shining light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing can last forever, including the bad times.

    I really appreciate your blog and often use your swatches to create my wishlist. This is maybe the 3rd time for me to comment in a years. I guess you left me speachless with your perfect swatches :) ♥
    This time I just had to say something, at least that you're not alone in your struggle.

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  42. Just remember that what you are feeling right now is just that, it does not define who you are, even though it feels like it does. Been there.

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  43. You know I love you and I am always here with my smelly dogs. <3

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  44. Reaching out to say I've been struggling as well. You aren't alone. <3

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  45. Reaching out to say I've been struggling as well. You aren't alone. <3

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  46. I have been enjoying your blog- you have the best tips and reviews!And as a person who has battled crippling depression these last ten years, I just wanted to encourage you to hang in there, everything runs its course and things eventually get better. You'll be in my thought and prayers. Depression is such a hard thing to live with!

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  47. Right there with you boo. Maybe not clinically depressed but after my last relationship ended, I feel like my view on the whole world and life just turned around. I've been trying to distract myself by really getting out there and going on trips for a change of scenery...but sometimes it's just really hard to escape from that feeling and nothing makes you happy. I hope you are able to pull through soon.

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  48. Hugs to you Scrangie.

    Forgive me please if this is not helpful, but - my experience is that going off gluten and subsequently dairy has made a huge difference to my decades-long depression and anxiety. This is without any overt symptoms of problems with these foodstuffs, i.e. no celiac etc. . As a plus note I no longer have any digestive discomfort and my skin is tons better too.

    And on a polish-related note I see that RBL have Starfish Patrick in stock - which I've wanted ever since you made me crave it - so I'm off to place a little order ...

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  49. As a long time nail tech and follower of your blog i can appreciate all the work you do to to make our lives easier. Take the time you need and we'll be here when you get back. Xoxo

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